This Newsletter is Packed with Updates!

Dearest Memorists,

Happy holidays to you and yours! As usual, the end of the year is coming at me in a rush. I can’t believe the new year is right around the corner.

As the year winds down, I’m reminded of how far we have all come and how grateful I am for this community. We’ve shared grief, laughter, reflection, inspiration, and more. I love how each of us brings a different set of skills and flavor to the group.

Fundraiser Update: We Still Need Your Support!

First, a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has contributed to our fundraiser! So far, we’ve raised €1026, 25% of our €4000 goal. Your generosity has helped keep our group running this year.

That said, we’re still quite a way from our goal. Meetup and Zoom fees have increased significantly this year. Your support is essential to cover the costs that allow us to stay connected and grow as a community.

If you haven’t had a chance to donate yet, there’s still time! Every little bit helps and brings us closer to sustaining the resources we rely on. You can contribute here (or use the link at the bottom of this newsletter).

New Items in the Etsy Shop

If you would like to contribute in a different way, I’m running a little holiday promotion in my Etsy shop! If you’re looking for writing-related gifts or something special for yourself, check it out here. (Use the code HOLIDAYMM10 for 10% off through December 26!)

Casual Christmas Gathering – December 26 & Speaking Your Story December 19

December 26 might be a small group, so I’ve moved the Speaking your Story session to the 19th and on the 26th, let’s take a break from our usual format and have a casual catch-up session. Pop in, say hello, and enjoy some holiday cheer with fellow memoirists! No agenda—just a chance to unwind and connect.

Special Accountability & Goal-Setting Session

Let’s kick off the new year by celebrating our writing journeys! In this special session, we’ll reflect on what we’ve accomplished over the past year, set meaningful goals for the year ahead, and discuss strategies to stay accountable. It’s a chance to connect, inspire each other, and plan for a productive and fulfilling year of memoir writing.

More details coming soon!

Keep reading for the recap of our discussion about What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding and details about our next book club pick, Writing & Selling Your Memoir by Paula Balzer. Plus, I’ve been working on a goal-setting and accountability series. More on that soon!

Wishing you a cozy, productive, and joyful holiday season!

Hugs!
~Christina

Reader rating of 3.85 stars for:
What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding, by Kristin Newman

Our book club recently discussed What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding by Kristin Newman, and, as usual, opinions were varied. One of the first topics we explored was the title. Some members found it amusing, while others thought it was off-putting or “click-baity.” There was agreement that titles are important as hooks, but they shouldn’t mislead the reader. Several people felt the title promised more depth on Newman’s decision not to have children, which the book didn’t fully deliver.

The book’s feminist angle was another point of discussion. Some expected the book to have more of a feminist message, but the ending, where [SPOILER ALERT] Newman settles into a monogamous relationship, felt contradictory to the independence suggested in the title. Some felt that Newman treated men as a commodity, making it difficult to fully connect with her emotionally. Others appreciated that the book offered a different narrative, showing a woman prioritizing fun and exploration over traditional relationships, which they found refreshing.

Why titles matter and how to find yours:

• https://janefriedman.com/choose-the-perfect-title-for-your-book-7-authors-offer-tips/
• https://thememoirnetwork.com/best-title-for-a-memoir/
• https://www.thewritersforhire.com/whats-in-a-name-8-helpful-tips-for-finding-the-best-title-for-your-memoir/

Context Influences Experience:

Something that came up that I’d not thought about previously was how the previous book you finish influences the next. One member shared that on a previous read, she had just finished a very moving and serious book and didn’t enjoy this book, but after reading something less enjoyable beforehand this time, she found herself laughing out loud. This led to a broader reflection on how a reader’s expectations can be influenced by their previous book choices.

Balancing Comedy and Vulnerability

Newman’s comedic background is evident throughout the book, but there was some debate over whether she struck the right balance between humor and vulnerability. Some members felt the book leaned too heavily on comedy, with little exploration of deeper emotional or self-reflective themes. Others appreciated the humor, feeling it kept them engaged, even if the book lacked emotional depth, others (me!) felt a deep connection with the author and felt the humor was a big part of that. We questioned whether humor could be used to explore serious topics and agreed it can, but it needs to be done with care.

• https://rubyperu.com/humor-has-its-place-even-with-sad-subject-matter/
• https://staceygustafson.com/5-ways-add-humor-memoir/
• https://elizabethspanncraig.com/uncategorized/write-humorous-memoir/

One Anecdote too Many…

We discussed how a collection of anecdotes doesn’t always make a cohesive story. Some felt that Newman’s anecdotes were entertaining but often repetitive, while others found humor in the relatable moments. This led to a reflection on our own writing—how we need to ensure that anecdotes serve the overall narrative arc and contribute to character growth.

• https://www.instagram.com/p/DAV7tSEikEi/?igsh=M291YmViMm9wazU0
• https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-nonfiction/writing-memoir-scenes-that-work-choosing-what-stays-in-your-memoir-and-what-goes
• https://marionroach.com/2020/02/how-to-choose-scenes-when-writing-memoir/

Overall, we appreciated the humor and fun nature of the book, though many felt it lacked the emotional depth to be truly memorable. Some members were inspired to incorporate more humor into their own writing, while others highlighted the importance of showing growth and emotional connection to elevate their memoirs beyond just entertaining stories.

Our next book club choice Writing & Selling Your Memoir: How to Craft Your Life Story by Paula Balzer offers a deep dive into the craft of memoir writing. Unlike memoirs we’ve read previously, this book is a guide from an experienced literary agent on how to shape personal stories into compelling narratives that captivate readers. Balzer provides practical insights, exercises, and techniques to help memoirists find their unique voice, choose the most engaging parts of their story, and handle delicate truths with respect.

From defining the central hook to mastering structure, dialogue, and pacing, this book teaches memoirists how to turn life experiences into powerful, relatable stories. Whether you’re new to memoir writing or looking to refine a manuscript, Writing & Selling Your Memoir offers valuable advice on creating an unforgettable story that resonates with readers.

Find our Book Club Questions here: https://memoirmentors.com/book-club-questions/ 

I’d prefer that you sign up through Meetup so I know who to expect and so that you know what the agenda is for the week, but if that’s too problematic, you can go directly to the Zoom link that we use every week:
https://zoom.us/j/4400465879?pwd=R0Y0RUp4YjAvdnJCODV0MkhNMXlmdz09

December 5: Write then Read:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/303408655/ 
December 12: Write then Read:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/303450129/ 
December 19: Speaking Your Story:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/301974167/ 
December 26: Casual Holiday Gathering:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/301974177/ 
January 2: Write then Read:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/303504475/ 
January 9: Write then Read:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/303504483/ 
January 16: Accountability & Goal-Setting Session:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/303504496/ 
January 23: Speaking Your Story:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/303542855/ 
January 30: Book Club – Writing & Selling Your Memoir:
https://www.meetup.com/memoir-mentors/events/304565150/