Moving to Tuesdays and Advice on Getting Sued

Hello Memoirists!

We’ll be moving from Thursdays to Tuesdays

Starting mid-November (after the book club discussion), we will be moving from Thursdays to Tuesdays. We hope to see more of you then!

I will be traveling November – December to the US and to Ecuador (looking forward to meeting Ingrid in person!), so my schedule might be a bit spontaneous and I may need to cancel last minute or ask someone to cover for me.

The zoom links will remain the same. The meetup links may have changed. Please see below.

Readers are loving Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Jelaine says, “I believe this is the best book on writing I have ever read.” If you haven’t already sign up to join us on November 10. Learn more below.

Congratulations Layla!

Also, big congratulations to Layla for getting a publisher for her memoir! We’re so excited to read her memoir about her childhood in Iran and her experience as an expat and outsider after leaving Iran. She recently published an article about attending a protest in Berlin regarding the recent tragic events in Iran. You can read it here:
https://medium.com/@chefkoochooloo/the-golden-kurdish-dress-fd46ff4b43e9

Writing about Others – Will I Get Sued?

We’ve had a lot of conversations lately about fears of getting sued by those we write about in our memoirs.

First off, write to your heart’s content in your first drafts, only worry about this when ready to publish.

Some things to keep in mind when publishing something about others:

Think about your tone. If you’re overly bitter and whiny, no one wants to read that.
Ask yourself how important it is to your story to share something. I have some stories about my step-mother that I’ve written but decided to keep out of my memoir because they do not drive my story forward and could hurt her.
Think about your motivation to write something harmful about someone. If it’s for revenge, that’s got trouble written all over it.
Write the facts and let the readers draw their own conclusions. You can show how someone is a bad person through their actions and the reader will know without you having to blatantly state it.

Allison K. Williams writes:

If the suit actually makes it to court, the person you wrote about must prove three things:

You lied
You lied on purpose to hurt them
Your story hurt them in terms of hard cash or public reputation

The truth is always a defense against libel. Police reports. Affidavits from your friends. Photos or videos. Your convincing presence on the witness stand.

If you accidentally didn’t tell the truth, that’s still not actionable. A plaintiff has to prove you lied on purpose or were very careless, not just that you were mistaken or have a different opinion. Memoir is inherently our opinion; it’s also worth adding caveats like “As I remember it…” or “what it felt like was…”

Damages are meted out based on actual, provable harm. By portraying people’s behavior in interpersonal relations rather than their ability to do their job, you are unlikely to damage their finances or their reputation enough for a judge to believe they need redress. You can say your doctor cheated at golf; criticizing his medical ability could do him financial harm and he’s likely to have records to prove it.

Here are some articles that I have found helpful on the topic:

https://brevity.wordpress.com/2019/09/10/so-sue-me/

https://michelejsharpe.medium.com/writing-memoir-libel-and-slander-ad30c188c0cf#:~

Upcoming events

I’d prefer that you sign up through Meetup so I know who to expect and so that you know what the agenda is for the week, but if that’s too problematic, you can go directly to the Zoom link that we use every week:
https://zoom.us/j/4400465879?pwd=R0Y0RUp4YjAvdnJCODV0MkhNMXlmdz09

November 10: Book Club (Bird by Bird): https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/memoir-mentors/events/288667395/
November 15: Write then Read:https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/memoir-mentors/events/snghzsydcpbwb/
November 22: Speaking Your Story: https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/memoir-mentors/events/kpghzsydcpbgc/
November 29: Write then Read: https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/memoir-mentors/events/lpghzsydcqbcb/

Book Club Choice: Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott

November 10, 2022 – 7:00pm Munich time, 10:00am Pacific

For our next book club selection, we’ll be doing something a little different. We’ll be reading Bird by Bird, Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott. This is not a memoir, but rather a guide on writing with some memoir bits thrown in.

“For a quarter century, more than a million readers—scribes and scribblers of all ages and abilities—have been inspired by Anne Lamott’s hilarious, big-hearted, homespun advice. Advice that begins with the simple words of wisdom passed down from Anne’s father—also a writer—in the iconic passage that gives the book its title:

“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.’”

We will discuss:

What we liked/didn’t like about the book.
Thoughts about books that are guidance mixed with memoir.
The guidance that we found most helpful.
How /if we plan to implement any of the book’s advice.
Other books or general advice on writing we find helpful.

https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/memoir-mentors/events/288667395/