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In our recent book club, we had a lively discussion of Once Our Lives.

Is it a Memoir, a Family Saga, or Historical Fiction?

One of the major topics was how Once Our Lives blurs genre lines. Many participants felt the book sits somewhere between memoir and historical fiction, threading family stories through significant historical moments. Some preferred the depth and emotion found in other memoirs like Angela’s Ashes and Wild Swans, noting that Once Our Lives felt more detached and matter-of-fact and less emotionally immersive. Regardless, we all agreed that seeing that time period and culture through the lens of one family helped us learn about the Chinese Cultural Revolution in a way that history books could never impart.

Point of View and Protagonism

The author doesn’t appear until more than halfway through the book. Members debated whether a memoir needs to focus on the memoirist’s own experience, or if it can encompass generational history. Several readers wished for a stronger central voice and more emotional access to the author herself. The group noted how important it is to clarify which character’s point of view is guiding each chapter in a book like this where there is more than one central character. Some felt that the book might have been more engaging if it opened with the author’s own voice and wove historical elements through her story, rather than frontloading history.

Superstition, Folklore, and Cultural Detail

The book’s folklore and family superstitions sparked ideas about how weaving cultural beliefs and everyday details can bring memoirs alive. Several members were inspired to include more of their own cultural flavors and superstitions, finding that this adds intimacy and universal resonance to a memoir.

Craft Lessons for Memoirists

– Anchor your memoir in your own experience and voice, even if you include family history or historical context.
– Consider emotional tone—matter-of-fact recounting can make terrible events easier to read, but may also distance the reader.
– Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability or emotional reactions—those “messy” moments often connect best.
– Give readers enough context to follow cultural references, but don’t over-explain or lose sight of your own story.
– Use structure and POV purposefully: clarify shifts, and keep your protagonist (often yourself) centered.
– Consider weaving in folklore and sensory details to add depth and transport readers into your world.

Ultimately, the group found Once Our Lives particularly valuable for its historical lens and cultural perspective.

Author Q&A

The following week, we had a really moving author Q&A with Qin. I’ll share the details in a Substack post later this week. In the meantime, you can watch the author Q&A here: https://youtu.be/uT7CyeG9n0I

Reply to this email and let me know or reach out directly at: xtina.howell@memoirmentors.com